Greg’s Awesome Thing(s) Of The Week!
July 22nd, 2008 by GregHere’s something new! Every week I’m going to put up the single most full-of-awesome thing right here in this new segment, Greg’s Awesome Thing Of The Week! This week I’ve pluralized it because I meant to start this a couple weeks ago but, of course, didn’t get around to it until now. So! Awesome Thing #1 is:
- For those of you who thought Nintendo was abandoning the “hardcore” gamer, bite your tongues because a third party has stepped up to the plate and given you a way to make your Wiimotes into sex toys. Finally, yes, FINALLY, you’ll be able to control Link as he gets his “reward” from Princess Zelda, and you’ll realize why he keeps saving her ass despite her idiotic penchant for getting kidnapped. No guy on Earth or Hyrule would put up with that hassle for so long if he wasn’t waxin’ that. We can only hope the good people at Oioo offer a Magnum version.
Awesome Thing #2:
- A fully functional auto-turret. (Sorry about the link, I would just embed it but I seem to F’in suck at that.) It only shoots paintball rounds right now…but that could easily be rectified.
Awesome Thing #3:
- Miracle Whip now comes in plastic 32oz Wide-Mouth jars. I’d don’t care if this doesn’t impress you, but I think it’s awesome! For too long I’ve had to resort to a long handled spoon to get to the tangy zip whenever the jar got down past half full! Too many times I’ve had to lick my fingers clean after getting it all over them, the consequence of trying to scrape the jar’s bottom to finish off a sandwich! Well those dark days are over, and at last, I am free from sticky fingers (from Miracle Whip)! When I opened the jar today, and saw there would be plenty of room for my giant hands to get to the bottom without having to clean them afterwards…I shed a tear.
July 29th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I heard that the Wiimotes had a pole dancing attachment…but isn’t this taking it a little far?
On the other hand, wide mouthed Miracle Whipe sounds amazing!