Rampant Exclamations

Let me tell you about my day. It’s long so I’ll put it behind a jump.

• 8:45am- Get in my car and leave for work.
• 8:46am- Wonder why my car is hardcore pulling to the right and shaking.
• 8:49am- Pull into a liquor store parking lot a few blocks from my apartment to find my right front tire completely flat. I was driving on the rim. That explains that. Oh look! A Jiffy Lube 2 blocks away, let’s see if they can help me out!
• 8:52am- Jiffy Lube can’t help me out. The tire is shot to hell and they don’t do tires there. What am I, an idiot? No, I’m just a guy who’s never been to Jiffy Lube before, and I suppose it’s so jiffy because they only do oil changes and sarcastic remarks. I plan to burn the store to the ground and move on.
• 8:57am- Arrive back at the apartment after 5 mins of driving like I’m 90 years old and praying my wheel doesn’t break off in the middle of the street. Silver lining: I know where my caution lights button is now.
• 9:30am- Call the insurance company (after some loitering) and tell them I have a viciously flat tire and need either a new one put on or a tow to get a new one. They think I say “jumpstart my car” and I wonder whether English is Lupe’s first language. Nonetheless they say someone will be there in 40-45 mins.
• 9:45am- Holy crap that was fast, the guy arrives to change my tire. He asks if I have a spare, and I’m like, NO, I said I needed a new tire cuz I don’t HAVE a spare! He then asks me to open the trunk. I do, and he removes the bottom and guess what? A spare tire was there. Who knew that every car made in the world in the last 30 years has a false bottom for a spare tire? Everyone but ME, that’s who. He finishes and leaves, but now I have to go get a new tire.
• 10:00am- Go to get a new tire. Except I can’t. Because my car won’t start.
• 10:05am- Call work to tell them I’ll be even later than I thought, then call the insurance company to tell them I need a jumpstart which, ironically, I had insisted I didn’t need the first time. After being put on hold for about 15 mins, they say he’ll be there in 40-45 mins.
• 10:40am- They clearly have no actual idea when people will show up. The same guy comes back, this time with some air for my poor tires and a jumpstart kit. I get my car started and now, blessedly, I’m on my way to Firestone to get my tire and, apparently, my battery fixed.
• 11:30am- After they take a look at the car they call me to the desk to tell me the following things are bad and need fixing: my tire (duh), my battery (dead), my oil (sludge), my front brake pads (worn down to nothing), my alignment (been pulling to the left for months and I just wanted it fixed.) All in all, $528 after taxes if I do it all there and then. I cry inside, then agree to pay it because I need ALL of that done immediately, except for the alignment but that was so annoying I figured I’d get that done too. Goodbye tax refund! (Well, half of it anyway.)
• 12:oopm- I’m across the street at Tickets, a restaurant. Their chili dogs, recommended by Frank at Firestone, are very good. I read Sporting News Magazine and, while listening to NASCAR, contemplate how best to get away with torching a Jiffy Lube.
• 2:30pm- FINALLY my car is all fixed up good as a 14 year old car can be. I’ve already called work to tell them there’s no point in my coming in so late, so I go back home and take a 4 hour nap because I barely got sleep the night before.

So, there’s my synopsis of a pretty crappy and very expensive day in the life of Greg. The reason there’s no comic is because it’s sitting on my hard drive on my work computer, and obviously I didn’t go to work so I couldn’t get it. I tried to put it up on Friday but when I tried to save the additions I made to it on Paint.NET, my computer threw up and closed the program without saving, and in my rage I simply gave up and said I’d do it Monday. I hope this clears things up.

P.S. You ever listened to Vampire Weekend? I suggest you do so. I have no idea if you’ll like their music or not, as it seems like something you’d have to already have a taste for, but I love it. Thanks to Mallory for giving me their album. And yes, I am aware this has nothing at all to do with the above topic, but what do I care? This is Rampant Exclamations after all. You think we live by the laws of segue and relevance? I AM ABOVE THE LAW!!!!

This entry was posted on Monday, February 25th, 2008 at 11:39 pm and is filed under Cars, Defeat, Music, News Post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.