Rampant Exclamations

This question and many more will be remain completely unanswered, as we waste your precious time with more RAMPANT EXCLAMATIONS!

• I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: nothing gets your point across like hardcore gay porn.  Jack Thompson, you are an absolute bastion of coherent and relevant debates, and it’s nice that you have seen fit to break free the constraints of single-mindedly pursuing the video game industry, in order to broaden your horizons and single-mindedly pursue homosexual journalism.  Seriously, how many times does this man have to ask the Bar, and society as a whole, to TURN YOUR KEY SIR! so that he might activate his self-destruction?  He clearly has tired of his role as semi-relevant, nearly-insignificant rabble-rouser, and aspires to become a completely irrelevant, totally insignificant raving street corner lunatic.  Please…hear his pleas and make our his dreams come true.
• There’s nothing funny about this article, unless you find arranged marriages to underage teens coerced into sex and forced into sodomy somehow amusing.  What shocked me about the whole thing as I was reading it was how something like this could be happening in 21st Century America!  (Not affiliated with 21st Century Fox.)  They’re just now putting this sick cult dictator behind bars?  The world and our nation is clearly so screwed up that even something like this has been put on the back burner. 
  Some argue in the article that they’re afraid his imprisonment may open the door to further religious persecution down the road, but I don’t see it that way.  This is a man whose own religion excommunicated him and his sect years ago, so it’s not like their entire religious community is at risk.  You can still say he’s following his beliefs, but come on.  If 30 guys in Columbus started killing puppies and feeding the brains to their children, they wouldn’t be able to hide by saying, “It’s cool, we’re Baptist.”  If the rest of the Baptist community isn’t eating puppy brains, I’m pretty those guys are getting a call from Child Protective Services.  So I hope that Jeffs guy spends a long long time in his jail cell,which is in an actual city called Purgatory…I’m sure he sleeps well at night knowing that.
• Hey, know what apparently gets you the same amount of jail time as forcing pedophilia and passing it off as a religion?  Stealing a doughnut.  This guy could get up to 30 years for stealing a doughnut he never even got to eat.  Nah, there’s nothing wrong with our legal system’s priorities.  Where are the protests and placards for him?  “FREE SCOTT MASTERS!”  “DOUGHNUT LET HIM GO TO JAIL!”  I got a million of ‘em, folks!
• If the first thing I think of when I see a farming skyscraper capable of feeding 50,000 people is, “Great, another excellent terrorist target,” is that me being overly cynical, or a sign of the times?  It’s a good idea and all, but blow one of those up and suddenly your city has no food.  Now, equip each building with security A.I. programmed to terminate all threats, along with a nice photon laser array for missle and airborne attack countermeasures, and I think we’re getting somewhere.  Also make the A.I. berserk.  That’s integral.
• Bungie leaves Microsoft.  Microsoft retains all rights to the children (read: Halo IP), and is keeping the house.  Bungie gets visitation rights, is now free to see other consoles, and is sleeping on a friend’s couch until it “gets its shit together.”  Everyone too busy playing Halo 3 to notice.
• Coming soon: the $1000 robot?  The mind-reading headband?  Are we one step closer to making The Jetsons a reality?  If so, I’m naming my robot Rosie.  Or KillBot MurderDroid Jr., if it’s a boy.
• Have your voices heard where it truly counts: sign up to be a Nielsen home!  I would absolutely love for my viewing habits to affect ad revenues and whether shows are picked up or not, and now that they are tripling the sample size I have my chance!  I may not be their ideal candidate, what with the no wife and kids and all, but we have 6 tv’s in the apartment, 3 hooked up to the cable, and 1 with Dual-Tuner DVR which currently has 20 series recordings scheduled a week.  So, yeah, I’m a pretty big sample audience all by my lonesome.  If I were a Nielsen home, Arrested Development would still be on the air!  Also, Samurai Pizza Cats, Unhappily Ever After, and Reboot.
• Oh, so that’s what happened to Snow: nothing.  This is news to no one.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 8th, 2007 at 12:10 pm and is filed under Farming, Law, Music, News Post, Rant, Religion, Robots, Television, Video Games. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.