Rampant Exclamations

When you think family heirlooms, what do you think of? Brooches? Wedding dresses? Furniture? Engagement rings or signet rings? Well, if you can’t really afford any of those, maybe you should consider a dead Lois a dead mummified baby:

CONCORD, N.H. - A judge has ordered a man to lay an unusual family heirloom to rest: a mummified baby has been passed down for generations.

Authorities seized the mummy last year when the man’s niece mentioned it to staff at a day care center.

State tests showed the baby had died of natural causes, but they didn’t establish a family relationship. Now, the state won’t release the remains to the Charles Peavey family without proof of kinship, and Peavey says he can’t afford DNA testing.

Okay, seriously, these people couldn’t find, I dunno, a nice set of silverware or something? Even the biggest douchebag we know has an old dining room table he claims was a family heirloom. (Which is why it makes so much sense that it’s now mine and Will’s, but I digress.) For Heaven’s sake people, if you can’t find an heirloom and your options are

A. dead baby, or
B. pretend something’s an heirloom,

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 20th, 2007 at 12:42 pm and is filed under News Post, WTF?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.