Furry Harbinger of Death
July 26th, 2007 by GregWell…this is going to hurt the cute and furry angle. I can already see the anti-feline propaganda machine churning it’s rusty gears as we speak. Will, no doubt, will trumpet the inherent malevolence he blindly attributes to all cats, but you must take his ravings with a grain of salt, for he is allergic to them and therefore can’t be trusted. His intolerance for their “kind” is so ingrained that to be in their presence makes him physically ill, and you simply can’t trust someone with that amount of hatred to be objective. It’d be like a ‘Nam vet telling you that the Viet Cong steal the breath of babies as they sleep…his testimony is questionable.
I, on the other hand, am very impartial, as anyone who has been to my home and seen my shelf of cute kitty memorabilia and kitten calendars can attest. And I tell you that the cat in this article, Oscar, is not bringing about these peoples’ demise, but is merely giving the staff ample time to contact their loved ones, so that they might have a chance to say goodbye before they depart. It is a loving, compassionate and selfless act that only the intelligence of a cat could aspire to. I suspect most dogs in this situation might lick the person’s face then, getting no response, eat the rest of their food and fall asleep on their chest, pushing the remaining air out of their lungs and killing them quicker. Not to be evil, of course, but because they’re stupid and don’t know any better. Oscar is providing a valuable service, and anyone who says otherwise is ignorant, and beats women, and is racist, and eats babies.
You’re not an ignorant racist woman beating baby eater…are you?
July 26th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
I’m just waiting for someone to open a line with “Kitten Killer” in it somewhere…
Aside from “furry harbingers of death,” there’s a woman in the metallizing department that swears a blue light does the same sort of thing. Like, it’ll zip around the corner into the dying dude’s room. Are there any people here who’ve heard of similar things?
July 26th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
I wouldn’t say that Oscar is being selfless, because I’m sure the cat is getting something out of it. Similar to the way we get something out of embryos, maybe it feeds on the dying wavelengths that can’t be described without quantum physics, but I’m sure it isn’t a selfless act. I do commend Oscar for being that way so that the family may be able to speak once more, but I do not consider it selfless.