Rampant Exclamations

Created on Strip Generator, by a Level 20 Web Comic Author with 165 gray tech.

Oh this comic is oh so true, except I have no idea if that conversation actually happened between my friends. I like to assume, however, that the lack of my presence would be both noticed and commented on amongst my friends, so let’s take it as truth for now. Regardless, the part about my fixation with daily helpings of Resistance 2 is gospel. I have managed to take a day off here and there from the grind of leveling up my Medic in Co-op mode (not Coop mode, thank you Burch), but whenever I do I feel like I haven’t been productive for the day. Isn’t that crazy? Working for money, along with social activity with physical friends I know, cause me to feel NON-productive when not healing strangers with my health gun in a fictitious online alien war. That’s the sign of a good game right there.

I do want to be social, however it’s becoming more and more of an expensive proposition. I checked my account a couple weeks back and wondered when I had purchased land in Dubai, for that was the only reason I could think of for so much money to be missing. Turns out it was mostly spent on bars and restaurants, which means I have nothing to show for it except leftovers and hangovers. This will not do! I have food at home, I have booze at home, why am I spending all this money going out to get both at much more extravagent prices? The answer, quite simply, was “because I’m dumb.” So I’ve been cutting back on that, and luckily I have 48 different hobbies to amuse myself with at home so I don’t lose my mind while others go out and have good times.

However, I do need to be the occasional social butterfly, I’m not a hermit (anymore). So I propose the following solution: all of you go out and buy a PS3 and Resistance 2. Then we can start a clan together, and I can have the best of both worlds! Playing my current favorite game, whilst being social with my favorite friends! Don’t you see how this arrangement would be perfect for me? Stop being selfish, it’s Christmas Time!

Another week, another dose of awesomeness! In no particular order, here are the things I found to be personally awesome this week (and last week, since I didn’t do one then.)

Dance Dance Revolution: The Musical.

What, are you still here? That’s all I have to say. It’s at the Ohio Theatre; go figure out a way to get tickets for this, you’re wasting time!!!

Game Room: University Charging Students To Use Game Room.

Holy crap, my alma mater made national (online blog site) news! Granted, it’s for a crappy reason, but hey…the school I attended was mentioned! WOOOOO! Looks like NKU is running with the big dogs now, charging exorbitant amounts for things like the BIG universities do. But at least the Game Room is something optional, and if students are stupid enough to pay for it, well, that’s just their own damn fault. It’s not like they’re raping you for parking passes (which they do), which is a mandatory expense and seems to increase an order of magnitude every year. Learn the bus schedule, freshmen!

Taste the sweet unpurified nectar of justice: “Attorney” Jack Thompson has finally been officially disbarred in the state of Florida! It’s not effective for 30 days, so of course he’s taking the time to sue, let’s see here…ah yes, THE SUPREME COURT, for what he believes to be an unjust ruling proving a conspiracy against his special brand of lunacy. Good luck with that one, buddy. Also, die in a fire.

…to the end of both the War on Drugs and the War on Being a Dumbass. If you’d like to see when the final salvo was fired, please, step right up! I invite you to watch the below video as Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em, clearly a Child Left Behind, reviews Braid, a video game clearly beyond the comprehension of a man composed of 50% weed/50% whack beats.

If you do watch this, I would suggest you get high or drunk first, or you may never stop sobbing.

Rejoice! For I bring you hilarity in cartoon form! Nothing like Seth McFarlane sending up the ridiculous premise of Super Mario Bros. to make you giggle. This video is part of a brand new series of web-shorts McFarlane is producing, in addition to his work on Family Guy and American Dad and the sure to be crapass new program coming in mid-Fall, The Cleveland Show. Enjoy!

Hahahahahaha! I’m sorry, I still haven’t stopped laughing from a joke my boss told me 15 minutes ago, so I thought I’d quickly share it. I’m told it was voted Australia’s Best Joke for 2006, and I can understand why. Then again, I like mean humor. Enjoy!

A Kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: “Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache.”

His wife is lying in bed and replies: “I think you’ll find that’s a sheep, you idiot.”

The man says: “I think you’ll find I wasn’t talking to you.”

Hey guys! Who’s up for a road trip to Toronto? I just found out that one of a handful of Street Fighter IV arcade machines is in Toronto, Ontario, Camaro, Eugene, Methusalah, Onomatopoeia, Canada, and it might be fun to take a 6+ hour road trip to another country for such a stupid purpose. Plus, maybe we can catch a curling match. Is it curling season? Do they even have seasons? Or is it just a joke sport they only play during the Winter Olympics or when they run out of episodes of World’s Strongest Man on ESPN2?

Slightly relevant to this is an article I just read that suggests playing video games makes people better surgeons. There have been recent studies conducted showing that surgeons who were also identified as “gamers” were 27% faster at advanced surgical procedures, and made 37% fewer mistakes, compared to non-gamers. (They also said violent games make kids more desensitized and prone to use violence to solve problems) BUT HEY VIDEO GAMES MAKE YOU SMARTER IT’S PROVEN EVERYONE LOOK OVER HERE!!! Now we have an even better reason to visit Canada for some gamin’: education!

Sign #2,477: You’re scrolling through your music and think, “Huh, I don’t know where that album came from. And I’ve never listened to it.”

This was what happened to me just recently, as I noticed that apparently I have the entire An End Has a Start album by Editors, and I have absolutely no idea where it came from. I’m glad I randomly decided to listen to it, though; it kind of sounds like what might happen if Interpol and The Bravery loved each other very, very much, hugged each other in that very special way that a mommy band and a daddy band do, and had a baby band.

I’d love to show you the video for my favorite song on the album (the title track, “An End Has a Start”) but for some reason, every copy of it on YouTube has embedding disabled. FAIL. So, here’s a link to the video.

Here’s a few items from the WTF? pile I happened to stumble upon this week.  And no, I didn’t actually use StumbleUpon, I do my own internet detective work thank you very much.  With a little help from Watson, of course.  This week I’ve decided to stick with the theme of completely idiotic things I read about, instead of the normal doses of Awesome. 

• In California, a man driving a motorcycle on the highway was carrying a laptop bag full of cash for an unspecified reason.  So, of course, the bag flew open and spilled cash all over the highway, causing cars to stop in the middle of traffic as the people grabbed at the lost bills.  Good citizens they were, they all fled when the police arrived.  I have no idea why this moron carried a laptop bag full of cash and hung it loosely on the side of his motorcycle hoping nothing bad would happen to it, but I just assume this was karma’s way of punishing him for knocking over that convenience store two towns over.
• Want a new and exciting way to get fired that will have the Internet buzzing by sundown?  Have cybersex on the company dime!  And as an online video game GM, no less.  Apparently patrolling Conan’s new game for reported offenses wasn’t enough of a thrill for this guy, so he accepted an offer to cybersex with one of the players.  A couple things to note: 1) The GM was a straight male; 2) The player was playing a male avatar, but said she was a girl in real life, but turned out to be fucking with him and was really a dude; 3) The guy was SO FIRED with the quickness.  I know you’re thinking it, so I’ll just say it: that GM was confused by a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.  Oh Tropic Thunder, I haven’t even seen you and I know I love you.
• This last one was supposed to be about how screwed up China is for giving the world fakeass CGI fireworks during the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics, but I just don’t know anymore.  On first read it seems like China was trying to trick everyone into thinking their city wasn’t a barren smoggy wasteland where even the brightest explosions couldn’t penetrate its thick pollution membrane, and I was perfectly content with that assessment and should have left it at that.  Alas, I broke all Internet blogging protocols and actually researched it at different sources for 5 minutes, and now it seems they just did it on SOME of the shots they wouldn’t be able to get because it’s a No-Fly Zone so no helicopters would be able to get the angles they wanted.  I no longer know whether to be outraged or just not care.  Did any of you watch the Opening Ceremonies?  Does this make you feel lied to and manipulated?  Is this prom night at your uncle’s cabin all over again?